Rosey Outlook

Friday 5 for February 13: Seven Days

1. This past week, were you more predator or prey?
I would have to say prey for the most part. I felt like I had the big ass target on my back that says SPEW your stress upon me.

2. Which Beatles song title could best be the title of your week?
"All Things Must Pass"

3. “Roses are red / Violets are blue / ___________ / __________.” How would you complete this poem so that it described this past week?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm getting tired of this shit, How about you?

4. How many pieces of unopened mail are sitting wherever you put your unopened mail?
Two magazines which ironically are wrapped - The Advocate and a catalogue for JT Stockroom.

5. What was the best meal of the past seven days?
I had dinner with my neighbors this week. She made fiery lamb vindaloo, basmati rice and I brought naam bread, fresh green beans and a bottle of red wine. It was my first time having lamb and the dish was very tasty. Close second was the fresh oysters I grilled and chased with a smoky porter.


Yes it has been one of those weeks. Actually it has been one of those months. I have had a fair amount of stress going on. Now I honestly don't mind a certain amount of stress, particularly if it comes from my own doing. But I learned a long time ago to quit doing that shit. Who needs it? Unfortunately not everyone else around me is on board with that philosophy. My son has been out of work for about a month. They didn't get the bid they were hoping for so now they are scrambling. Meanwhile he is broke and wondering how the hell he is going to pay next month's rent. He really has worked hard at being responsible, paying his bills all on time, etc. So he is worried and rightfully so considering the economy right now. We talked about working on his resume, applying at the naval shipyard and also contacting his old employer to see if he would give him a reference. His old employer fortunately has some painting that needs to be done so it looks like he might scape by again. I am glad he doesn't have a shitload of bills. Unlike his sister.

I got a phone call this week from the University where I am involved with a research study for a rheumatoid arthritis drug. This drug is currently sitting on the FDA desk, waiting for approval. It has been approved 5 years ago in Japan and just got approval in Europe. The doctors figure that it will get approval this year. Now this is great news for folks because it is a great drug and works in a different mechanism than any of the current drugs on the market. More importantly, it is working for me which is great. I have been resistant to all of the other drugs and honestly I can't afford the cost of the newer drugs. It usually comes down to do I want to pay rent or do I want the drug? So a couple months ago when I got word about the impending approval, I was worried about the cost factor. New drugs are horribly cost prohibitive, ie $1500 - 3000 per month. It wouldn't be the first time I have had to switch into another research study because of the money issue. But I was told that the drug company was going to honor the contract we signed and I would be able to get the drug for free which means I have a year and a half before I have to figure out what to do. The drug company coughed up extra money for the University to continue to do the study. Fast forward to the phone call this week. I was informed that the University is shutting down ALL of the research due to the cost factor. I was told that it was just too expensive to run the studies thru the hospital. Evidently there is a private company who is also doing the study and I will now be going through them. I just don't know if I am getting the same deal as I was promised through the hospital. So for now, I will just have to hang tight and ironically pray that the FDA sits on the drug for awhile. I kinda like being able to walk for miles, to be able to get myself dressed, and basically be functional!

And of course, there is the neverending saga with my daughter. She is now 32 weeks pregnant and so far things look fine with the baby. She has started her intensive outpatient alcohol treatment for the dui deferred prosecution. I am not sure how much she is getting out of it considering she is living with someone who abuses pain meds and honestly if she wasn't pregnant, I am pretty sure she would be using right along with him. Her job ended so she is collecting unemployment. Her husband had back surgery which he was convinced that it would "fix" him and he would get off pain meds by the time the baby was born. What a joke. He was referred to a chronic pain specialist which sounded hopeful - until he resisted all the treatment plans. Everything they tried prescribing him, he decided that it worked and then within 24 hours it suddenly didn't. Anything long acting he refuses to take. He just wants the short acting oxycontin type drugs because afterall, he can get high of them. Add that to the tranquilizers and muscle relaxants. Now he just got fired - supposedly let go due to budget cuts. So here they sit - neither employed. Can't pay rent on time as usual. Can't afford to take a birthing class but he wants to take his last paycheck to buy a gaming system. Sounds like a brilliant plan when your baby is coming in 2 months! So every day I am greeted with a 6am text message from my daughter - venting, moaning, whining, ranting and by the end of the day, those rose colored glasses are firmly planted back on her face. I wonder if they sell rose colored glasses in bulk quantities?